Quick Tale : Unforeseen

"I want to leave. Is there any way that my tickets could be advanced? I can't imagine living here for another 3 weeks"

This was my mother. Four days into her stay in Australia. What do you say to that? I had anticipated trouble but just not this. Say for instance, using the toilets in a land that wipes their asses with paper. I had made arrangements (let's just leave it at that) and could have handled that.

I could have understood even if she had freaked out at the girlfriend with whom I have been living for the last 6 months. I haven't told her that yet and I have seen no indication that she has discovered it. You can never underestimate an Indian mother, they say, but I was as careful as humanly possible. I cleared out all my girlfriend's junk out of my bedroom (don't get me started about the troubles I had to go through to pacify her. I am simply not capable of handling two women, read problems, at the same time) and made it messy enough for my mom to believe it was still 'my' room.

The problem was something that for the life of me I could never have foreseen.

'Please tell me there is Sun'. Those were her first words after she landed in Sydney Airport.OK! I admit. I am exaggerating. Those were not her first words. I wasn't counting but it surely couldn't have been over fifty. Anyway, the only thing I remember was that we hadn't crossed the parking lot at that time. I also remember that I had responded assuringly that it was summer and the mornings are bright and sunny, even hot at times.

That was to be the first of a string of faux pas.

"Not THAT Sun, you imbecile. The other one. The more important one. The TV channel".

Really! They should teach more tact and diplomacy in school.

"Sun TV? In Australia?", I asked incredulously, "Well! I think there is service here. There is an Indian family in Liverpool..."

Well! That is all I got to say before I was silenced by a menacing look.

There! I rest my case. We need to ban television. All the satellite channels in the world. It is an alien conspiracy to control humans. I swear.