Time whizzes by and I, I write of glimpses I steal

Friday, June 13, 2008

Everything and Nothing

There was no one in him; behind his face (which even through the bad paintings of those times resembles no other) and his words, which were copious, fantastic and stormy, there was only a bit of coldness, a dream dreamt by no one. At first he thought that all people were like him, but the astonishment of a friend to whom he had begun to speak of this emptiness showed him his error and made him feel always that an individual should not differ in outward appearance. Once he thought that in books he would find a cure for his ill and thus he learned the small Latin and less Greek a contemporary would speak of; later he considered that what he sought might well be found in an elemental rite of humanity, and let himself be initiated by Anne Hathaway one long June afternoon. At the age of twenty-odd years he went to London. Instinctively he had already become proficient in the habit of simulating that he was someone, so that others would not discover his condition as no one; in London he found the profession to which he was predestined, that of the actor, who on a stage plays at being another before a gathering of people who play at taking him for that other person. His histrionic tasks brought him a singular satisfaction, perhaps the first he had ever known; but once the last verse had been acclaimed and the last dead man withdrawn from the stage, the hated flavor of unreality returned to him. He ceased to be Ferrex or Tamerlane and became no one again. Thus hounded, he took to imagining other heroes and other tragic fables. And so, while his flesh fulfilled its destiny as flesh in the taverns and brothels of London, the soul that inhabited him was Caesar, who disregards the augur's admonition, and Juliet, who abhors the lark, and Macbeth, who converses on the plain with the witches who are also Fates. No one has ever been so many men as this man, who like the Egyptian Proteus could exhaust all the guises of reality. At times he would leave a confession hidden away in some corner of his work, certain that it would not be deciphered; Richard affirms that in his person he plays the part of many and Iago claims with curious words "I am not what I am." The fundamental identity of existing, dreaming and acting inspired famous passages of his.

For twenty years he persisted in that controlled hallucination, but one morning he was suddenly gripped by the tedium and the terror of being so many kings who die by the sword and so many suffering lovers who converge, diverge and melodiously expire. That very day he arranged to sell his theater. Within a week he had returned to his native village, where he recovered the trees and rivers of his childhood and did not relate them to the others his muse had celebrated, illustrious with mythological allusions and Latin terms. He had to be someone; he was a retired impresario who had made his fortune and concerned himself with loans, lawsuits and petty usury. It was in this character that he dictated the arid will and testament known to us, from which he deliberately excluded all traces of pathos or literature. His friends from London would visit his retreat and for them he would take up again his role as poet.

History adds that before or after dying he found himself in the presence of God and told Him: "I who have been so many men in vain want to be one and myself." The voice of the Lord answered from a whirlwind: "Neither am I anyone; I have dreamt the world as you dreamt your work, my Shakespeare, and among the forms in my dream are you, who like myself are many and no one."


-from Jorge Luis Borges' Labyrinths

Thursday, June 05, 2008

What's cooking?

It is always an enriching experience seeing an Engineer cook. What makes one an Engineer is a different thing. Not everyone with a piece of paper that says they graduated with a Bachelors in Engineering qualifies to be called an Engineer. They are atmost engineers. Well! I am talking of this breed of 'engineer superiori' a.k.a. Engineers whose lives and the air they breathe reek of engineering. I have the misfortune of having surrounded my life with engineers and Engineers (and very few of the other endangered species).

I meant to talk of an enriching experience, so forgive me my circumlocution. It all began when I was at this friend's place, and believe me when I say he is a rank exhibit of Engineers. With a capital E.

My friend offered to cook for me to showcase his cooking skills. Apparently, he wanted to convince me that he was ready to get married. I usually enjoy cooking and would have offered to help but seeing how much it meant to him, I let him cook and satisfied myself with the role of the observer.

What struck me the most immediately was the preciseness of his cooking. If the recommended ratio of rice and water was 1:2, it was "1:2". Water was measured to an accuracy of plus/minus 5ml. Allowances would have been given to the hardness or softness of the water but for want of reliable data about the variation of quantity of water to the hardness of water (imagine an excel chart with hardness on the x-axis and quantity of water on y-axis with coloured dots throughout). It was better to be on the conservative side and use the standard specifications. 'City of cooking' might be used as a proxy for the hardness value but day-to-day variation of water quality were unaccounted for.

Another important factor affecting the ratio is the quality of rice. Recent literature survey points out, there is a dearth of measures, qualitative or quantitative for the quality of rice as related to water required to cook it. Region-specific and brand-specific measures are at best ad-hoc alternates. At this point, no other factors were known to affect the ratio in a significant manner. These are ascribed for future research work.

Next, he was emboldened by the unqualified success of the 'Rice experiments' to try out a Gulab Jamun mix. And I think it was around this time that it stopped being funny and became sad.

The readiness of sugar syrup was measured by the viscosity of the aforementioned syrup. Loose definitions of "as thick as oil" are severely frowned upon. There are oils belonging to a wide spectrum of viscosities and the precise nature of the oil is paramount to preparing required consistency. Cook for five minutes meant... wait for it... yeah! you guessed it right, cook for 300 seconds. When time reached 290, his hand was in position, on the knob to avoid any time lag. Similarly instructions on the packet require that the dough be fried at 165 degrees. Since there were no reliable temperature measuring devices in the kitchen (since, after about 80 degrees, hand was not a reliable device and returned only a totally inadequate "unbearably hot" response), a small quanity of dough was dropped into the frying pan. If it became golden brown, it meant that the oil was ready. However, maintaining the heat at this precise temperature poses a problem. Keeping the stove ON would, obviously increase the temperature but it is believed that the loss function due to the transfer of energy to the dough would compensate for it. The exact setting of the stove knob has to be determined empirically, depending on the diameter of the dough balls and the number of balls simultaneously fried.

At the end of the day however, I have to admit, the food was delicious.

To all Engineers... you make life livable.