India is on steroids. All this rapid growth and development, it is just not natural. Oh! I know! I just committed blasphemy but I am not afraid of thunderbolts as much now. Call me a non-believer; a skeptic and a pessimist. It is true. Our speedy climb scares the shit out of me. The proverbial rise before the fall??!!
Then, it happened. I heard Amitabh Bachchan, and you know it is true when it is him, tell me that I was the leash that was holding the eager India from progressing. Oh! but conversions are on the rise and more and more people are joining the bandwagon. Yup! It's happening folks. Oh! he didn't use that bandwagon word.
Now, I so want to become a part of this India. Standing at the edge of a precipice, I wouldn't hesitate for a second. Believe me, I'll look up at the sky and jump. Hope my garage-built turbo-pack works though. Good enough to carry my steroid-muscled body. Up, up and away.
Listen, all ye rusty bastards who sit in your asses and make comments, raise questions and recommend moderation. Hear this. You are either with us, marching to a glorious future. Or you are against us impeding our parade, making it the 400m hurdles and by God you know, we suck at it.
We'll brand you unpatriotic traitors. If you are effective in actually making people question their faith, we'll have to throw you in prison. Silence you somehow. You know, we live in a democracy. The loudest voice has all the say. We can out-shout you anyday. We have the voice of India behind us.
And if you keep worrying about long term side-effects. Screw you. We don't care if the steroids shrink our testicles or lead to premature heart attacks, strokes, liver tumors, kidney failure and serious psychiatric problems. What if a third of our coutry dies of AIDS, the other two-third will be rich. We'll win this round of the bout, whatever it takes and that is all that matters. Anyone who says otherwise is an ignorant kook.
Now, choose. Are you with us?
Time whizzes by and I, I write of glimpses I steal
Wednesday, January 24, 2007
Saturday, January 20, 2007
Quick Tale : Unforeseen
"I want to leave. Is there any way that my tickets could be advanced? I can't imagine living here for another 3 weeks"
This was my mother. Four days into her stay in Australia. What do you say to that? I had anticipated trouble but just not this. Say for instance, using the toilets in a land that wipes their asses with paper. I had made arrangements (let's just leave it at that) and could have handled that.
I could have understood even if she had freaked out at the girlfriend with whom I have been living for the last 6 months. I haven't told her that yet and I have seen no indication that she has discovered it. You can never underestimate an Indian mother, they say, but I was as careful as humanly possible. I cleared out all my girlfriend's junk out of my bedroom (don't get me started about the troubles I had to go through to pacify her. I am simply not capable of handling two women, read problems, at the same time) and made it messy enough for my mom to believe it was still 'my' room.
The problem was something that for the life of me I could never have foreseen.
'Please tell me there is Sun'. Those were her first words after she landed in Sydney Airport.OK! I admit. I am exaggerating. Those were not her first words. I wasn't counting but it surely couldn't have been over fifty. Anyway, the only thing I remember was that we hadn't crossed the parking lot at that time. I also remember that I had responded assuringly that it was summer and the mornings are bright and sunny, even hot at times.
That was to be the first of a string of faux pas.
"Not THAT Sun, you imbecile. The other one. The more important one. The TV channel".
Really! They should teach more tact and diplomacy in school.
"Sun TV? In Australia?", I asked incredulously, "Well! I think there is service here. There is an Indian family in Liverpool..."
Well! That is all I got to say before I was silenced by a menacing look.
There! I rest my case. We need to ban television. All the satellite channels in the world. It is an alien conspiracy to control humans. I swear.
This was my mother. Four days into her stay in Australia. What do you say to that? I had anticipated trouble but just not this. Say for instance, using the toilets in a land that wipes their asses with paper. I had made arrangements (let's just leave it at that) and could have handled that.
I could have understood even if she had freaked out at the girlfriend with whom I have been living for the last 6 months. I haven't told her that yet and I have seen no indication that she has discovered it. You can never underestimate an Indian mother, they say, but I was as careful as humanly possible. I cleared out all my girlfriend's junk out of my bedroom (don't get me started about the troubles I had to go through to pacify her. I am simply not capable of handling two women, read problems, at the same time) and made it messy enough for my mom to believe it was still 'my' room.
The problem was something that for the life of me I could never have foreseen.
'Please tell me there is Sun'. Those were her first words after she landed in Sydney Airport.OK! I admit. I am exaggerating. Those were not her first words. I wasn't counting but it surely couldn't have been over fifty. Anyway, the only thing I remember was that we hadn't crossed the parking lot at that time. I also remember that I had responded assuringly that it was summer and the mornings are bright and sunny, even hot at times.
That was to be the first of a string of faux pas.
"Not THAT Sun, you imbecile. The other one. The more important one. The TV channel".
Really! They should teach more tact and diplomacy in school.
"Sun TV? In Australia?", I asked incredulously, "Well! I think there is service here. There is an Indian family in Liverpool..."
Well! That is all I got to say before I was silenced by a menacing look.
There! I rest my case. We need to ban television. All the satellite channels in the world. It is an alien conspiracy to control humans. I swear.
Wednesday, January 03, 2007
Best of 06
First post of 2007 and what better way to usher in the new year by remembering all that was great about the year gone by.
Blogging: Been surprisingly regular in my posts, overtaking the 62 posts of last year with 65 in 2006. That figure is a lot less impressive when you consider that I had only 7 months to pile up the 62 last year. Ah! well, a healthy average of over 5 posts a month. Can't really complain. The quality of the posts though is entirely a different matter. I would like to believe it is no worse than it was.
Reading: Like Priya, I did remember Shashi Tharoor writing in a column that he read 365 books in a year. My target was less lofty. Wanted to read one a week and bring the tally to 52 but failed. Managed only 45 (I kept count). But it included some huge tomes like Shantaram (which was around 1000 pages - my wrists hurt for a week just lugging this book around), Fountainhead (which would have to be the best book I read this year followed closely by Midnight's children). I actually read quite a few of the 'haven't you read it yet's that ideally I should have read a couple of years ago. Fountainhead, Midnight's children, English August, Lord of the Rings, Foundation trilogy and several more. Lets see if I can make the magic 52 this year.
Traveling: Loved Brisbane and Gold coast. Best trip of the year (and ever). The long drive, the adventurous camping, the crazy rides in the theme parks and the company makes it that. Couple of trips to Sydney (actually more than a couple, half a dozen, I think), the Blue Mountains, the coast last summer and a few bushwalking expeditions throughout the year were all memorable experiences.
Movies: Despite several disappointments (Vettaiyaadu Vilaiyaadu and KANK topping that list), the year stands out for RDB, by far the best Indian movie I saw in 06. Saw some amazing world cinema. Was introduced to the quirky French humour with classics, Le diner de cons and Le placard (and just about everybody has watched Amelie). Also enjoyed multilingual films like L'auberge espagnole and Va, vie et deviens (both French productions).
2006 was also a year of politics. Thought provoking movies like Syriana and Good night and Good luck (both Clooney ones), Who killed the electric car and Munich provoked thought.
TV: Usually this doesn't even feature in my list of great things. Soapy soaps aren't my forte. Was introduced to 'How I met your mother' which I think is the next best thing after Friends and 'House' which is the ultimate in Medical Drama this year and am loving it. In the words of Barney, it was Lege- wait for it- Legendary.
There sure were other things about 2006 that was awesome. But I am sparing you, my impatient readers and will not share them with you. Looking forward to an even greater 2007, what say you?
Blogging: Been surprisingly regular in my posts, overtaking the 62 posts of last year with 65 in 2006. That figure is a lot less impressive when you consider that I had only 7 months to pile up the 62 last year. Ah! well, a healthy average of over 5 posts a month. Can't really complain. The quality of the posts though is entirely a different matter. I would like to believe it is no worse than it was.
Reading: Like Priya, I did remember Shashi Tharoor writing in a column that he read 365 books in a year. My target was less lofty. Wanted to read one a week and bring the tally to 52 but failed. Managed only 45 (I kept count). But it included some huge tomes like Shantaram (which was around 1000 pages - my wrists hurt for a week just lugging this book around), Fountainhead (which would have to be the best book I read this year followed closely by Midnight's children). I actually read quite a few of the 'haven't you read it yet's that ideally I should have read a couple of years ago. Fountainhead, Midnight's children, English August, Lord of the Rings, Foundation trilogy and several more. Lets see if I can make the magic 52 this year.
Traveling: Loved Brisbane and Gold coast. Best trip of the year (and ever). The long drive, the adventurous camping, the crazy rides in the theme parks and the company makes it that. Couple of trips to Sydney (actually more than a couple, half a dozen, I think), the Blue Mountains, the coast last summer and a few bushwalking expeditions throughout the year were all memorable experiences.
Movies: Despite several disappointments (Vettaiyaadu Vilaiyaadu and KANK topping that list), the year stands out for RDB, by far the best Indian movie I saw in 06. Saw some amazing world cinema. Was introduced to the quirky French humour with classics, Le diner de cons and Le placard (and just about everybody has watched Amelie). Also enjoyed multilingual films like L'auberge espagnole and Va, vie et deviens (both French productions).
2006 was also a year of politics. Thought provoking movies like Syriana and Good night and Good luck (both Clooney ones), Who killed the electric car and Munich provoked thought.
TV: Usually this doesn't even feature in my list of great things. Soapy soaps aren't my forte. Was introduced to 'How I met your mother' which I think is the next best thing after Friends and 'House' which is the ultimate in Medical Drama this year and am loving it. In the words of Barney, it was Lege- wait for it- Legendary.
There sure were other things about 2006 that was awesome. But I am sparing you, my impatient readers and will not share them with you. Looking forward to an even greater 2007, what say you?
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