All things Green

Regular readers of the blog (the imaginary/non-existent beings) know that I turned into a Nerdfighter and John Green fan after the TFioS book (and somewhat disappointing movie adaptation). But so much has happened since.

First, I fell in love with Vlogbrothers videos. This was a Youtube channel that John started with his brother Hank way back in the mesozoic era of 2007-08. The deal was that the brothers would communicate with each other (and the broader Nerdfighter community) through short videos that they posted once a week. There were some rules about length of videos, for instance < 4 mins but the topics covered everything from Hank's rendition of a song he wrote on Anglerfish to John talking about the healthcare system in Ethiopia.

Vlogbrothers led to Crash course and Sexplanations. John did a series on World History for Crash course, which if it was made 17 years ago might have changed my history. I was and still am a history buff and John and his teams' interpretation of the entire history of the world into bite-size packages is so creative, fascinating and educative, I would have embarked on a career following the Mongols if I had watched these videos in my teens.

Sexplanantions was awesome in that I had received no formal sex-education growing up in uber-conservative Chennai. Whatever I knew, I learnt from bits and pieces of information and misinformation from my peers. I wish I had a Lindsey teach me about sex in my teens. But more important than the anatomy or safe-sex lessons from Lindsey, it is the sex-positive atmosphere that I sorely lacked. I am, like so many people, ashamed to talk about sex in an open and curious way and thank the team at Sexplanations for shedding some of those inhibitions.

In the meantime, I also read other books by John Green. Post-TFioS, I started with a book titled 'An abundance of Katherines'. Brilliant doesn't begin to describe the book. I loved loved loved it. I was amused at how well I related to the characters in the book (esp Colin).

Then came, 'Looking for Alaska'. It was John's debut novel and it was as heartbreaking and heartwarming as TFioS. The Green binge was rounded up with 'Paper Towns'.

A common thread around all these novels is that it dealt with smart and curious teens who grappled with big questions about themselves and their place in the world. They read poetry, played pranks, rebelled against authority figures, fell in love, fell out of love and really loved learning. It was ok to be smart. Hell! it was awesome being smart. And that needed to be told.

Don't forget to be awesome

Damien Rice

I feel a little embarrassed when I watch Damien sing... it feels like I am peering into the soul of someone and seeing their scars. And I begin to wonder do I have any business being here. Can I do something to ease this pain? 

And when he plays at a bar or something, and there are people with their iphones and cameras. People! there is a man writhing in pain and you are just standing there taking pictures.

I've never loved.... I've never loved... I've never loved.... I remember it well... The first time that I saw....

Ohgod! why does it hurt so much.

(a+b)^2

This is the last one, I promise.

We live in a society. And there are rules. These rules aren't static entities and do change with the times. We don't always agree with all the rules and neither should we. If we find a rule that is unfair or a belief that is unfounded we do question it and in time replace it with better and better rules.

One of the several rules that our society has in its wisdom decided that we follow is that we don't ask people certain questions. For instance, we don't ask someone their age. There are plenty of occasions where it is appropriate to ask someone their age. A bouncer at a bar, at your doctor's office, at your birthday party with friends, etc. What the rule forbids is asking that question to a stranger or someone who is not in familiar terms with you. And age is not the only taboo. It is not appropriate to ask someone how much they earn. It is impolite to ask if they are single. Or if they are straight/gay. When they last masturbated. If they were the one who farted just then. These are the rules and though we may find plenty of exceptional circumstances where these rules may not apply, these are the generally accepted norms that allow us to decide if a particular action is right. This is not controversial. There is literally no one who is arguing that we should be allowed to accost random strangers in the bus stop and ask them any of the taboo questions listed above. And strangers who do ask questions like 'Where do you work or How much is your salary' are dealt with cold stares and polite excuses.

In this context, I made a feeble and unassuming announcement that we add to this list of questions, a few more. Specifically, these questions were regarding race - like asking a brown man you met at a party where he is originally from because he replied Australia and doggonit he doesn't look "Australian". Or asking a Chinese person who just introduced himself as James, what his "REAL" name was. I didn't come up with these rules. These rules aren't mine. Brown people collectively said that not accepting their answer to where they were from (USA, Australia, etc) and demanding to know what kind of "not white" are you was unacceptable. See for instance, Hari Kondabolu

Asian people in a similar fashion put together a video . Asking Asian, typically Chinese people what their real/ Chinese name is, according to some Asian people, ANNOYING. And they don't want you to do it. They find it patronising and did I already mention it, ANNOYING.

Are you still with me? It is not really that hard to follow, is it?

Well! I got called out for being an evil tyrant who wants to impose his will on others and tells white people what they may or may not do. Really! I was told by someone who shall remain un-named that I was denying them their rights. Asking Chinese people their Chinese name was her (yes it was a her) right and it shall not be denied.

Firstly, I don't want to impose my will. Let's be clear on that. And it is not MY will. It is the will of Asian people who have been asked too many times to spell out their names to curious Georges. Her argument that she is not like the other white people who ask silly questions because a) I am nice or b) I don't have a racist bone in my body are not relevant. Her intentions don't matter only because the guy hearing the question not only hears the question but hears the historical baggage associated with the question.  One can't tell an Asian person that they were wrong to be offended. One can't say I am using "nigger" as a term of endearment and don't mean anything racist by it. The words have historical association with slavery and racism that is irretrievably entwined with it. Your intentions however pure don't matter to the person at the other end. And that is why they (not me) would like very much for you to stop asking them annoying questions. If you don't mind. Pretty please. With a spoonful of sugar.

Our discussion did get heated and I was making my point passionately, arms flailing, voice raising, hair pulling. After that, we walked our own ways, she believed that "We agreed to disagree". After all we are all entitled to our own opinions. You have yours and I have mine.

NO! That is not how it works. To be clear, my arms are flailing and voice is raising not because 'Thou shall always listen to me'. It is because I am frustrated that I am not able to get something so self-evident to me across to you. I am saying (a+b)^2 is a^2 + b^2 + 2ab. And after an hour of explaining how the question can be reframed as (a+b) times (a+b) and that is how we arrive at the answer, you keep insisting that the answer cannot have a 2ab term. We don't walk away saying  that your answer is  a^2 + b^2 + 2ab and my answer is  a^2 + b^2 and that is that.

Of course I admit that not everything is so mathematically certain. Just to give another example of a different discussion: At the height of the re-re-return of the Woody Allen sexual abuse scandal, she made the point that she wouldn't watch his movie because he was a paedophile. I argued that I would still like to watch his movies given that a) he wasn't found guilty and b) that people conflate pederasty and paedophilia while the pathologies associated with both are completely different and that Woody was guilty of pederasty for marrying a girl much younger than he, it doesn't automatically follow that he must also be guilty of abusing Dylan. I also wondered if art can exist beyond the artist or if the two are inseparable. Can we appreciate art, say Polanski's Pianist without excusing his behaviour. To me, this is a complex question with no definite right and wrong and while I argued that we could watch Woody Allen's films, I made no argument that we SHOULD watch them. I can understand that some people have strong opposition to watching a film made by Woody and feel that by watching his films they are in some way legitimising his bad behaviour. I accepted her argument and we did walk away saying that you watch his movies and I won't. I wasn't going to impose my view that one can watch a movie by Woody Allen without being called a paedophile-supporter and she didn't call me a paedophile-supporter.

Going back to our Asian conundrum - Could she ask an Asian person what his/her "real" name is? Yes. Should she? No.

Eppur si muove