There are very few things happening here worth mentioning. It is really cold. Even on a bright sunny day as today, the day temperature is 3 and nights are almost always sub-zero. I just am not able to wake up before 7:30 as I curl up in the bed with my blanket upto my ears willing the heaters to radiate more warmth. That is what is needed. Warmth.
Everything is fine despite the winter, I tell myself. The Weatherman on the television says so too. "Fine day today. A maximum of 4 degrees. Some frost expected during the night", he smiles into the camera.
Actually I am kind of disturbed. I don't know, I just feel bored with everything. Feeling very disinterested with life. Can't explain it. I know for fact that a part of me is running astray indulging himself to every whim and fancy as the other parts looks indifferently or pronounces subdued complaints. I read books when I should be working. I go to movies alone; feels to me like I am escaping the real world. Or atleast trying to.
I sit in a group and laugh at jokes but a part of me is away. When I am alone, I would rather have company and when I am with people, I would rather be alone. I am almost always aloof. Sometimes I think I have forgotten the trick of inhabiting a social world.
Maybe everything will be fine soon. Anyway, I do not wish you to worry about it much. Frankly, I don't see anything or anyone helping me out of it. I am confident it is just a phase and I'll soon outgrow it. Maybe something drastic will happen and change everything. Just maybe. Spring isn't too far.
8 comments:
I've done things like this too.. write up when i've felt bad.. .jus lookin to be noticed and ... Probably u r doin it too (no offence meant if u r tat is).. but i ll tel u wat... take up to reading some books that spell the "other", i mean non-social part of u. and i ll suggest Ayn Rand. if u've read it read it again. its a gr8 book... i swear it is and i believe it ll help(sry if it is not the rite word... i've been thro xactly the same situations... but oh i am only 18, if tat changes anything!
thaleeva.....
inna aachu........cheer up ma!
kaaleela enthirachathum 'madras' count down panna ellaame sariya poodum:-)
illa appa, amma kitta solli ponnu paka sollatuma:-)
naan sonna keppango:-)
Ranganatha!!!
Madras countdown super idea. Shall follow. But I didn't write the 'tale' as my 'own' tale. Simply practicing writing. heee heeee
Still, ponnu idea mega super. nee sonna keppanga???
Shashi!
No offence, as I was saying Ranganthan, it was meant to be a tale (written in first person). Thanks for writing though.
Ayn Rand! Not a bad suggestion. But I'll pass. I have known people who lost their minds reading Ayn Rand.
er...
(tats al frm me) ;)
comment deleted... so sad! how will i know what it was. how will i sleep without knowing wat it was?
ho!!!!!!
shashi!
it was my fault tht i didn't make it clear that it was a tale (i was actually trying to imitate Ammani's style of quick tales
You know, I'd like to say you copied my life, but heck, I'm sure a long line of people before me claims ownership to that :-) And you're right... it's all jus a phase.. how do i know? I don't - it's that thing in all of us that us alive typing that - hope, is it called?
Cheers!
Post a Comment