My view of arranged marriage is that you pick a horse and then you show it to me and say "Is this one ok?". My problem with this arrangement is that I have no context to evaluate if it is. I have never ever been to a race and no clue about horses. I just don't know. One says yes because you like the colour of the horse or it has a funny name or it doesn't snort and balk when you go near it. It is based on intuition more than anything else.
Of course with a love marriage (I am not a big fan of this terminology because the opposite of a love marriage is then a love-less marriage) the choosing is not restrictive to a yes or no. The beauty of this analogy is that at the end of the day, no matter how you choose, it is still a gamble. You win some, you lose some. And you can never be 100% certain of your choice.
Extending the analogy, one of the reasons "western" marriages seem such a failure is because they don't think that it is necessary to bet everything you own to play the race. Some relationships are built for the long haul and some aren't. Changing horses mid-race is bad but gambling everything on one race is a bit reckless, don't u think? You don't want your life completely ruined if you lose a race.
One is absolutely free to believe in arranged marriages. Sure, let's say that it is the greatest bestest system. Or at least no worse than any other system. But please let's not pretend that someone is going to make an informed choice based on a few email exchanges. A trained psychologist wouldn't know anything about a person from these initial emails. Do you agree? So, let's just call the game what it is - it is a gamble. You are betting on a horse. And as a player, given the high stakes, all you can do is take as many variables as possible in to consideration.
Of course with a love marriage (I am not a big fan of this terminology because the opposite of a love marriage is then a love-less marriage) the choosing is not restrictive to a yes or no. The beauty of this analogy is that at the end of the day, no matter how you choose, it is still a gamble. You win some, you lose some. And you can never be 100% certain of your choice.
Extending the analogy, one of the reasons "western" marriages seem such a failure is because they don't think that it is necessary to bet everything you own to play the race. Some relationships are built for the long haul and some aren't. Changing horses mid-race is bad but gambling everything on one race is a bit reckless, don't u think? You don't want your life completely ruined if you lose a race.
One is absolutely free to believe in arranged marriages. Sure, let's say that it is the greatest bestest system. Or at least no worse than any other system. But please let's not pretend that someone is going to make an informed choice based on a few email exchanges. A trained psychologist wouldn't know anything about a person from these initial emails. Do you agree? So, let's just call the game what it is - it is a gamble. You are betting on a horse. And as a player, given the high stakes, all you can do is take as many variables as possible in to consideration.
No comments:
Post a Comment