There are very few things happening here worth mentioning. It is really cold. Even on a bright sunny day as today, the day temperature is 3 and nights are almost always sub-zero. I just am not able to wake up before 7:30 as I curl up in the bed with my blanket upto my ears willing the heaters to radiate more warmth. That is what is needed. Warmth.
Everything is fine despite the winter, I tell myself. The Weatherman on the television says so too. "Fine day today. A maximum of 4 degrees. Some frost expected during the night", he smiles into the camera.
Actually I am kind of disturbed. I don't know, I just feel bored with everything. Feeling very disinterested with life. Can't explain it. I know for fact that a part of me is running astray indulging himself to every whim and fancy as the other parts looks indifferently or pronounces subdued complaints. I read books when I should be working. I go to movies alone; feels to me like I am escaping the real world. Or atleast trying to.
I sit in a group and laugh at jokes but a part of me is away. When I am alone, I would rather have company and when I am with people, I would rather be alone. I am almost always aloof. Sometimes I think I have forgotten the trick of inhabiting a social world.
Maybe everything will be fine soon. Anyway, I do not wish you to worry about it much. Frankly, I don't see anything or anyone helping me out of it. I am confident it is just a phase and I'll soon outgrow it. Maybe something drastic will happen and change everything. Just maybe. Spring isn't too far.
I've done things like this too.. write up when i've felt bad.. .jus lookin to be noticed and ... Probably u r doin it too (no offence meant if u r tat is).. but i ll tel u wat... take up to reading some books that spell the "other", i mean non-social part of u. and i ll suggest Ayn Rand. if u've read it read it again. its a gr8 book... i swear it is and i believe it ll help(sry if it is not the rite word... i've been thro xactly the same situations... but oh i am only 18, if tat changes anything!
ReplyDeletethaleeva.....
ReplyDeleteinna aachu........cheer up ma!
kaaleela enthirachathum 'madras' count down panna ellaame sariya poodum:-)
illa appa, amma kitta solli ponnu paka sollatuma:-)
naan sonna keppango:-)
Ranganatha!!!
ReplyDeleteMadras countdown super idea. Shall follow. But I didn't write the 'tale' as my 'own' tale. Simply practicing writing. heee heeee
Still, ponnu idea mega super. nee sonna keppanga???
Shashi!
ReplyDeleteNo offence, as I was saying Ranganthan, it was meant to be a tale (written in first person). Thanks for writing though.
Ayn Rand! Not a bad suggestion. But I'll pass. I have known people who lost their minds reading Ayn Rand.
er...
ReplyDelete(tats al frm me) ;)
comment deleted... so sad! how will i know what it was. how will i sleep without knowing wat it was?
ReplyDeleteho!!!!!!
shashi!
ReplyDeleteit was my fault tht i didn't make it clear that it was a tale (i was actually trying to imitate Ammani's style of quick tales
You know, I'd like to say you copied my life, but heck, I'm sure a long line of people before me claims ownership to that :-) And you're right... it's all jus a phase.. how do i know? I don't - it's that thing in all of us that us alive typing that - hope, is it called?
ReplyDeleteCheers!